Well, I'm all moved in and officially "Upstairs Kathryn," given there are two of us with the same name in a four-person house! I'm so thankful that the drive down to Northfield went smoothly given the flurries, and just driving into town was unbelievably gorgeous. Just the thinnest cloud layer diffused the sun that lit up the hoarfrost- and snow-covered trees. What a perfect welcome.
I'm thankful for the coming days and weeks of getting to know my housemates - they all seem sweet, and I'm sure at the very least, we can all coexist splendidly. And I'm thankful for the modern convenience of soft water and decent water pressure, even though I got totally accustomed to the Nicaraguan bucket bath this summer.
I will admit though, I am missing having a roommate, like I knew I would. I was so fortunate to have wonderful roommates and housemates all through Carleton, and living with friends, while hard at times, was so healthy to have that support system right there (provided we were home once in a while rather than camped in our respective academic buildings). Who is going to tell me to go to bed at a reasonable hour? Who is going to be my incentive for keeping my things reasonably tidy? I am an only child that has spent so much of her life alone, and while I know how to entertain myself and not get bored, I think I have always liked being around people even if it took me a good number of years to semi-understand how to interact with them. It will be more of a challenge for me to look at having completely my own space as a blessing and not having my someone to come home to, but all in due time, and for now, I can have friend sleepovers if I want given the fact that my room randomly came with two twin beds. Plus I basically have a well-lit painting studio and dance studio to practice Zumba all wrapped into one!
I perhaps prioritized hanging up a few art scrolls and canvasses that I've collected from my travels over really feeling satisfied with my furniture arrangement, but things will fall into their places. I'm thankful that even though life feels like a little bit of a mess right now, I have friends who text me to go traying (borrow a dining hall tray and sled down the magnificent Bell Hill!) in the most perfect weather and light snow on their free afternoon or to watch Psych and catch up on life until late. I'm thankful that a conversation that caused some sleeplessness and could have derailed me didn't, thanks to my newly groomed instinct to turn on KTIS (or my Mustard Seed playlist when radio is inaccessible) when life gets rough and let God speak to me through music. A song was just ending when I pressed the power button, and what came on next was "I want to fall in love with you." And my first instinct was to think romantic human love, but what the lyrics actually mean and what I want is for my heart to truly know the meaning of "I want to fall in love with You," God. I want to have God fill me up and let life flow from there. I hope I am coming out of this season where I have been placing too much stake in human fulfillment, because as much good as can come out of human beings working together and supporting each other, people disappoint and God never does. "Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me."
Finally I'm thankful for how a sequence of complicated choreography from an Ebony dance (Carleton's student-choreographed dance group) just snapped back into my brain and muscle memory enough to rise in my insomnia and let it move me almost flawlessly. That was indeed a blessing, a respite in the middle of the night.
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