Love Strong

Today I am thankful for the perfect lyrics to wake up to. "Every blessing you pour out I'll turn back to praise." As if God was saying I'm onto something, knowing I want to commit to those words. Music is just such a wonderful way to connect with the Spirit, whether I'm rejoicing in my own compilation of silly salsa/reggaeton to "Un Mes," rocking out to Switchfoot, or pretending I have a west coast partner literally whenever I hear tobyMac (it's really a huge problem when I'm driving...). Different genres touch my soul in different ways, but as I'm coming into my own and finding it so much easier to be moved to dance like David, it's still amazing to hear God's voice through lyrics at just the right moment every once in a while. Yay God!

Today, I welcome you to my motto on life. Not just live strong, but love strong. I started this blog because I want to be more intentional about recognizing beauty and blessings in my life every single day. I'm thankful also for being born with a nature that is easily fulfilled by simple pleasures such as quality time with the people I love that sends me into a fit of slap-happiness, a song like "10,000 Reasons" that just washes over my soul whenever I hear it, and wonders of nature like the ring of miniature blossoms within the heart of a zinnia. But I also struggle daily with human beings and how we hurt one another, with giant theological questions, and with my own reactions when confronted with challenges. 

Still, I know that love and strength come straight from God. Some days I just have too many questions, feel so far from God, or get subsumed by the torrent of expectations, but I seek to respond every situation with God's love and strength and thank God every day for the opportunities, relationships, and other ways God has blessed my life and restores my faith in humanity and creation.

My first challenge comes to you all in the poem that somehow flowed out of me during my freshman year at Carleton College as I walked up the stairs in the Rec Center. I would like to note I have rare, rare (seriously) moments of brilliance, as if something that has been rolling around in my head for hours, days, or weeks just appears perfectly concise, as if it were that simple all along, I had just been trying too hard to figure it all out myself, rather than being patient and waiting for it to become clear. Anyways, when one of these moments hits, I truly have to stop everything and write it down (or in this case type on my phone) because the most commonsensical phrasing will just stampede out of my fingertips without any say from my brain it seems. And if I don't preserve how those words come to me in that instant, they will be lost.

Much of the time these smatterings of thought will appear in the form of a single line that just boils down everything I had been thinking and experiencing, and you, my dear readers, will probably see a few of those one-liners throughout this blog. Maybe you will find them a whole lot less inspiring, or perhaps you have figured these things out long ago, or maybe you just think I am crazy, but all I can say is that I am thankful to God every day for the people, the splendor, the experiences, and the truly random moments of clarity that help make sense of it all. And when life just does not make sense, that is where I am learning to just trust God and keep my eyes, ears, and heart open for the Spirit so that I can best serve how I am called to serve and give love as I am called to give love. So, here is a slice of my writing from 2009.

I am a human being.

I am a person.

Am I a good person?

I try.

Do I succeed?

Whose expectations do I fail?

My parents’?

My friends’?

My boyfriend’s?

My teachers’?

My classmates’?

My coworkers’?

My own?

Do I deserve what I have?

Probably not.

Am I better than I think?

We probably all can be better than we think.

Everybody is at least somewhat delusional.

I can do more.

Be more.

Be strong more.

Be sensitive more.

Love more.

Is it worth it?

If we all did more,

Were strong more,

Were sensitive more,

Loved more,

It would be.

Ahh, the trials of collective action…

Who begins the cycle of loving more?

Anybody could.

Why not you?

Why not me?

  
I am trying to choose to be thankful every day. I have to wake up every day and ask myself, "How am I going to be more of the person God created me to be and wants me to be?" Some days I do a better job of being that person than others. The only behavior you can control is your own. We should be kind, good, and just towards others and expect nothing in return. The foundation of your being should be selflessness, and an added bonus is extra kindness in return.

We are called to love one another first and foremost. We don’t get to judge others based on their life experiences, their choices, or who they are. I believe we are called to show everybody love and grace, and not in a holier-than-thou way, but following Christ’s example of humility. It is not easy, but it is worth it.